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"His companion sniggered behind his hand, obviously sharing some cryptic joke with his colleague."Ignore them," Sarek advised. "They're just teasing you." I've heard it's as big as two men, with teeth like daggers," the man continued, "it'll tear you limb from limb, then grind your corpse into the dust, until there's nothing left but a bloody smear in the dirt." I'll be sure to look out for it," I replied, playing along with their juvenile banter.The two men broke into fits of hysterics, then rose to their feet and sauntered off."My apologies for their rudeness," Sarek told me, "Heaven preserve us from the Guardians and their ilk." My skin is fairly thick. Silver Demon?" Who knows," Sarek replied. "Probably some story they made up to intimidate you." Even if it existed, I can't see anything standing up to those heat weapons you have." Very true." Talking of rumours, what can you tell me about the Utopians?"Sarek's eyes widened in panic. "You must never say that word in public." Why?". I was on my school team, for goodness sake. And gymnastics. And it might be nice to be at the pool all day. Prancing about in just a swimsuit. Being looked at by the hunky life guard pool attendants. Ogled by all the old men. Stinking of chlorine. Skin wrinkled like a raisin.Ok, not such a good idea. So, no shop work, no sports center. There was only one thing to do. The internet. Local ads.I tried a few different approaches, using the default search engine, the local classifieds, even the infamous slightly naughty one listing goods and services for exchange. Only one advert looked at all interesting.“Stage Magician seeks assistant.” I read on. Ugh, an old guy, he had twenty years in the business! The assistant must be presentable enough to distract the audience, as well as small and agile enough to participate in illusions. Well, that was me. And there was a phone number and email address.What did I have to lose?I wrote an application, noting that he'd said that previous experience.
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